Oh no! Another Concept Record... Yep.
" ... F-Word" was intended as a nod to all of my artistic influences:
B-Movies, Horror/Science Fiction novels and Big Overproduced Hard Rock. I have drowned myself in these indulgences throughout my life and feel that they have helped shape the way I see things. While I take my music very seriously, I also feel it should be fun. Thus, I have attempted to inject a good portion of "campy" humor into these ditties. Forgive me, as there are a few inside jokes woven into the mesh.
I'd like to tell all about how this album came to be, and perhaps one day I'll type that long story up and post it on my website. But for now, I'll just say that the first song written for this record, Don't Fly Away, showed up in 1989 and was simply forced out of me by some emotional distress (Woe is me). Several of the remaining songs were also written in a similar fashion. Much of the material evolved and I merely filled in the blanks to finish the concept off.
I need to point out that my singing on this project, in no way signals my intention to become a lead vocalist (Collective sigh of relief). I much prefer being a support player in this entertainment thing. However, I thought it might be cool, while the time was right, to flex those versatility muscles and see what would happen. I've really had a tremendous amount of fun overproducing this record and I can't wait to get to work on the next one... a band undertaking.
There used to be this running joke in one of my former bands, "That one will be on the Richard Kendrick solo album..." I usually got to hear this smart-ass comment if the guys didn't seem to like something I had written. Well, little did any of us know ...
Anyway, here it is. I sincerely hope you like it.

RIK
November 23rd 2001

THE TECHNICAL STUFF

The entire album was recorded at Dickstagehand Studio (in my guestroom), through a Mackie 24/4 mixer, onto three 8-track, 16-bit ADAT recorders. The drums were all sequenced on a Korg X2 keyboard, which then drove, via-MIDI, an Alesis DM Pro drum module. Bass guitar and Keyboards were also sequenced on the X2. However, not all of the Keys on the recording were sequenced.
The guitars were recorded direct through a Digitech 2120 for "dirty" and a Rockman Sustainor and Stereo Chorus for "clean." On some lead parts, I used a Morley wah wah peddle. The vocals were recorded in a blanket-lined closet through a RØDE NT2 microphone. For the acoustic guitars I used the same mic - just, Out of the closet (whoohoo, I made a funny).
Recorded in 2001

Richard Kendrick - Guitar, Vocals, Keyboards and Programming

Jason Keller - Bass on "The Attitude Song"

All songs written by Richard Kendrick and published by Dick Stagehand Productions/Icon Publishing Group, Administered through ASCAP except: Sheri's Song - by Richard Kendrick and John Vaughn Laughin' Myself Goodbye - by Phil Wang The Attitude Song - by Steve Vai (Sy Vy Music - ASCAP)Produced and Engineered by Richard Kendrick Mixed by Richard Kendrick and Joe Veirs on ProTools (Very F-ing Cool) at John Schwab studios in Columbus Ohio on December 18th - 22nd, 2001. 614-833-1686 Mastered by Joe Viers Executive Producer: Jake Brown for Versailles Records Legal Representation: Rob Guadalupe, ESQ. (www.guadalupelaw.com) Cover/Layout Concept: Richard Kendrick Album Cover/Layout Design: Richard Kendrick & Jason Cooper (www.blackheartstudios.com) Printed at Ball Media in Canada Cover Photo: John Graphia Additional Photos: Richard & Lisa Kendrick Face Painting: Lisa Kendrick (Thank You Sweetheart) Copyright 2002 All Rights Reserved. Unauthorized Duplication is a Violation of Applicable Laws

LYRICS

Due to printing the artwork before the recording was completed, some lyrics included in the CD booklet are incorect...

I believe all the lyrics below are correct.

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Fiancée:

Summary

01) I Know Why

I can still remember when
I was twelve and you were ten
Well hold that thought
That's all wrong
I met you at a high school dance
You were insecure without a chance
I wanted to get with your sister

You followed me around
Until I could see what I had found

(I love you) Now I know why I love you
(Life in you) I can see the life in you
(I love you) Now I know why I love you
(That's the truth)
You're real and that's the truth

Don't know how I could've missed
Girls like you just don't exist
But I can see you
But I can see you
You're my life's mystery
(My life's mystery)
The rest as they say Is history

(I love you) Now I know why I love you
(Life in you) I can feel the life in you
(I love you) And now I know why I love you
(That's the truth) You're real
You're real and that's my truth

And I sure hope things never change
Ya' know I could never take that pain
Oh who would wipe my tears away
And who could wipe these years away

(I love you) I know why I love you
(Life in you) I only see my life with you
(I love you) And now I know why I love you
(That's the truth) You're real
You're my truth
(I love you) Now I know why I love you
(Life in you) Yeah I can feel the life in you
(I love you) And now I can't live without you
(Glad I met you) I was lost until I met you

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Summary

02) One Life Stand

It's such a bitter pill that I've been takin'
That guilty feelin' when I leave you shakin'
We lay our hearts on the line
But don't you know the sun don't always shine
Down on our love babe
Now the outside's gray

But deep inside do you feel me
And deep inside do you know
So deep inside can you heal me
Take away all my sorrows

Our cloud never had a silver linin '
And we can't find a lucky star that's shinin'
But I give you all that I have
And when I joke and you don't laugh
Well somehow I still love you - Huh

(So will there always be you)
Will there be late nights of passion
(Will there be cool)
Will there be cool fall days in the sun
Ooh will we stop all the pieces from crashin'
Or are the pieces gunna' come undone

I just wanna' know how can we just let it go
And end our one life stand
(Darlin' don't you)
Darlin' don't ya' know
I don't want to let you go
And end our one life stand

(Will there ever be you)
Will there be late nights of passion
(Will there be cool fall days in the sun)
Will there be cool fall days in the sun
Ooh will we stop all the pieces from crashin'
Are the pieces gunna' come undone

(I just wanna' know how can we just let it go)
I Just wanna' Know Oooh
(And end our one life stand)
This one life stand
(Darlin' don't you)
(Darlin' don't ya' know)
(I don't want to let you go)
Don't wanna' let you go
(And end our one life stand)
Oh here we go
(I just wanna' know how can we just let it go)
That's all I wanna' know
Always you and me
(And end our one life stand)
End our one life stand
(Darlin' don't you)
(Darlin' don't ya' know)
(I don't want to let you go)
Don't wanna' let you go
(And end our one life stand)
Don't you understand
Oooh
You're my one life

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Summary

03) Don't Fly Away

The moon was full and the stars were out
As I held you close to me
We slow-danced to the sound of the waves
And we felt the midnight breeze
Ooh ooh ooh...
Not a care in the world except for love
The love that filled our hearts
And I tasted the sweetness of your lips
And I knew that we would never part

Ooh ooh ooh Don't fly away
Ooh ooh ooh Don't fly away

I loved you then and I love you now
I'll never forget that night
Our crimson silhouette danced above our heads
Under the full moons light

I remember the smell of the salty air
And the fire in your eyes
I ran my fingers through your hair
And we drifted through the skies

Brushed your cheek next to mine
And I held your body tight
We flew together in the breeze
(With our crimson silhouette that night)
With our crimson silhouette

(Ooh ooh ooh Don't fly away)
Don't ya' fly away
(Ooh ooh ooh Don't fly away)
Please don't fly away
(Oo ooh ooh Don't fly away)
Don't ya' fly away
(Ooh ooh ooh Don't fly away)
Ooh ooh oh...
I'll never let ya' down
(I'll never let ya' down)
I'll never fly away
(Fly love)
Don't leave me on the ground
Don't fly away

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Forsaken:

Summary

04) Start Again

Oh my bride to be
Well it seems she lied to me
No honeymoon no picket fence for me
Well she called it off
She said that I'm too soft
Well nice guys finish last apparently

It's the story of my maybe-someday-life
And I've been holding my breath so long
(Holdin' so long)
Sherri how could things have gone so wrong

(Tell me) Tell me who I want to be
(Who to be) Will I feel it grow inside of me
(Replace me) In place of what will never mend
(Start again Start again) Start again

I thought I was the king
Until she packed my things
Talk about a rude awakening
Well the bills were paid
Well almost
And the bed was always made
But that just wasn't good enough today
(Today and every day that follows)

And now my plans have changed
And I've got nowhere to go
Burned the bridges to my past (So fast)
'Cause I thought for sure this love would last

(Tell me) So tell me who I want to be
(Who to be) Will I feel it grow inside of me
(Replace me) In place of what will never mend
(Start again Start again) Start again

Will we be together one day
Maybe never
Maybe someday soon
You and me
Under a different moon
Hey

At first you said you just wanted some space
Nothin' else was gunna' change
And you came around a lot
When you needed something
Now you still use me and I let you

It must be her goal
To keep me on hold
On the line and losin' my control
There's been this change of plan
Why all at once she ran
She was hopin' I'd become a new man
See a change in me

And now every afternoon it seems like it rains
And now she's calling me her friend
(Just friends)
Playin' with my heart's what she intends

(Tell me) So tell me who I wanna' be
(Who to be) And will I feel it grow inside of me
(Replace me) In places that I've never been
(Start again Start again)
Time to start again
(Tell me) So tell me just who I should be
(Who to be) And will I feel it grow inside of me
(Replace me) In place of what will never mend
(Start again Start again) Start again
Start again
Don't wanna' start again

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Summary

05) Sherri's Song

You knew that leaving would be so wrong
I guess we both knew you wouldn't stay
God knows I held on as long as I could
But you just wouldn't wait another day
Now runnin' through my mind are thoughts of you
And love we made (That love we made)
So Sherri' please don't let that love that we had fade
There's a little hope in my heart
That girl you still believe in me
Now don't you say this ain't true love
(This ain't true love)
I'd do anything to make you see
The thought of spending the rest of my life without you
Puts tears in my eyes (Tears in my eyes)
You promised always you'd be here to hold
You said we'd never say goodbye
(Never say goodbye)
(Never say goodbye)
'Cause if we say goodbye

If our love isn't true love
I know we'll be apart forever
If our love isn't true love
Love we'll never be together
So don't throw away our love
We can't give it up ooh
If our love isn't true
Then why am I missing you oh

I go to sleep at night and you're there
I hold you in my dreams so tight
To show you I still care
If you would only feel my loving touch
One more time
'Cause I know in my soul you'll be mine
I know in my heart, you'll be mine
You'll be mine

Why am I missing you
If our love isn't true love
I know we'll be apart forever
If our love isn't true love
Now we'll never be together
Don't throw away our love
We can't give it up
If our love isn't true
Then why am I missing you
Well if our love isn't true yeah
If our love isn't true
Then why am I missing you
So tell me why am I missing you
If our love isn't true
Why am I missing you

I'm all alone
The middle of the night
My heart keeps crying out your name
I'm so confused
Afraid to let you go
Now things will never be the same ooh
When I'm sleepin' you're by my side
I'm always dreamin' that you're still mine
You used to love me from dusk 'til dawn
(From dusk 'till dawn)
Just can't believe it (Just can't believe)
Now that you're gone (You're gone)
We walked together hand in hand you and me
Now all that remains of our love are memories
It's late and cold
No sleep tonight
But I should be all right through the day
I'm so confused
You know it should have never come to this
I'm lost now that Sherri's gone away

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Summary

06) Share This Tender Moment

Do you see me across the street
I know that you're alone
I've followed every night this week
While you were going home
I'm the little chill you're getting
When the cold wind blows
I'm the little lies your kisses told
Do you remember those

(I can't wait 'til we're married)
(We're going to be together forever)
(I sure do love you)
(You're my best friend)
(I wanna' have your children)
(I would die for you)

Lies

'Til death do us part
If all that is true
I've got to share this tender moment with you

Hah hey mercy

I am shadows in your closet
I'm just right behind the door
But when you're changing for the eve
I'll have other things in store
I'm the monster beneath the bed
Where you sleep alone at night (At night)
So lock the door and get tucked in
So I can do this right

'Til death do us part ('Til death do us part)
If all that is true (If all that is true)
I've go to share this tender moment with you
Hey 'til death do us part ('Til death do us part)
If all that is true (If all that is true)
I've go to share this tender moment with you
'Cause I love you too

How does it feel to be left alone in a dark place
'Cuase you left me alone in a dark place
Only I never want to leave my darkness
And you'll never see the light again
Weren't we going to share every moment

You're every little filthy word
That I've ever thought
You're everything I could ever want
And maybe still you're not
You are lies and dying eyes
And words that go unspoken
I'm the sentimental fool
Your fucking words have broken

'Til death do us part ('Til death do us part)
If all that is true (If all that is true)
I've go to share this tender moment with you
Lies
'Til death do us part (No good-byes)
If all that is true (Dying eyes)
I've gotta' share this moment with you

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Fame, Faith, Farrago:

Summary

07) Don't Touch

Whispers tell all now
My mind is free
Well strike up the band baby
I'm a new man Ya' see
Well Isn't that what you wanted from me
So I sold my soul for just a bit of control happily

They keep me locked away until it seems I'm better
Brighter days
(They keep me locked away until they think I'm better)
My arms held to my chest by a thick canvas sweater
(My arms held to my chest by a thick canvas sweater)
Now I'm glad I met her

So how do you like my new look
(Say Jim whoo that's a bad outfit whoo)
Well, It's a real fashion statement
Soft matching walls matching floor camouflage door
And ooh the dreams I dream I dream I dream of you
I dream of brighter days
And a life that quickly slipped away from view
(I dream of the past now and a life that has no value)
I'm feeling so much better
I'm better off without you
Always turning the knife
It's the start of a whole new life

Now I'm this open book
I've got a brand new look
Don't touch
I've got a brand new style
I got a first class smile
I'm way too much
I've got a brand new walk
You like the way I talk don't ya'
Don't ya' touch
And now I'm on TV
Would look at me
Don't ya' touch that dial
(We'll be right back after these messages)

Whispers tell it all now
My mind is free
Well strike up the band baby
(I am a new man)
All that you asked me to be

My life's this open book
I've got a brand new look
Don't touch
I've got a brand new style
I've got a first class smile
I'm too much
I'm way too much
I've got a brand new walk
(Whispers tell it all now)
You like the way I talk
(My mind is free)
Don't ya' touch No
I'm all you asked of me
Take a look and see
(I am a new man)
But don't you touch

Temporary
(I am a new man)
Sanctuary
Oh, my Sherri
(I am a new man)
I'm a new man indeed

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Summary

08) Questions and Prayers

Bright skies and lullabies
Music and laughter
Forever after
All of my memories belong to you now
And what of the pain
The pouring rain
Don't know what was real
What did we hear see and feel together
Now all of my answers leave only discontent
Again and again I descent
Amen

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Summary

09) Now I'm Alive

I've got to live this nightmare
Pinpricked into my vane
High voltage mainline again
I feel your ever-presence
Still I can taste your kiss
It feels so cold I can't resist

(Now I'm alive I'm alive I'm alive)
Now what has been won
My beautiful one
Backwards to front
She's the one (She's the one)
(Now I'm alive I'm alive I'm alive)
Now I'm alive Now I'm alive Now I'm alive

You've come to play my sanity
Like it's a violin
Dance in the moonlight again
Fingers caress my spirit
Electrify my mind
Can't turn away from evil this divine

(Now I'm alive I'm alive I'm alive)
So now look who's won
My beautiful one
Back to the start
Now, Isn't this fun
(Now I'm alive I'm alive I'm alive)
Now I'm alive Now I'm alive Now I'm alive
(Now I'm alive I'm alive I'm alive)
Back to the start
You won my heart
Now look who's won
I am the one

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Summary

10) Losing My Place

Morning comes
She calms our pain
Comforting
That sting she brings
She doesn't listen
Though I try to explain
As she charges up my brain again yeah
Just another temporary change of pace
Another way to keep me losing my place

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Summary

11) The Pieces

(Instrumental)

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Summary

12) How Many Times

How many times must you see me cry
Before you stop hurting me
Well you know I could never let you go
But you kept deserting me

Holding onto you
You know that is all I could do
Followed you around just to feel you near
You know I love you here in my heart

You're in my heart (In my heart)
In my mind (In my mind)
And I only wanted to be by your side
You're in my heart (In my heart)
In my mind (In my mind)
I was never too proud to throw away my pride
Now you know I love you so
How many times must I cry

Now I try to pretend that I am content
Tell me why are things always unfair
And now with all that sweet love I spent
I just can't shake the despair
Ooh you were my best friend
And that kind of love it never ends
I don't know how I'll deal with this pain
I must be crazy

They can't shake me awake when I'm screamin'
I've been fallin' apart at the seams
Sometimes you let me outrun my demons
But I can't (Can't) get you out (Out) of my dreams

How many times will you show me my fate
Too late

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Flight:

Summary

13) Freedumb

I hear you whisper when you're walking these halls
I'm going to smile when the guillotine falls
I don't believe you'll open up my mind
I'm deep inside of lost 'til the end of time

Freedom
Is your imagination
It's just another taste of aggravation
And Jesus
You're only speculation
Destiny's just interpretation
Still there's always that fine line
Some you cross and some you sign
You got yours then you took what was left of mine

Freedom
That's what you love
But weren't you really captured up above
And mother
Wouldn't she be proud
If we took our place high above those clouds
It's sort of holy don't you think
Some you let and some you drink
I got mine and poured it down the Goddamned sink

Lies fucking shameless
What do you promises bring
And I'm gunna' laugh when that pendulum swings
And I hope you never let me go
Don't let me go

Freedom
That's the Devils' lock
And I am sin in cerebral stocks
It doesn't matter much just who's beneath
They're really all the same in my beliefs
And as always there's a key
Some that cost and some are free
You picked my pockets
Died and paid for me

Now I can see but I do not feel
But can I have what I do not steal
I can cry but I shed no tears
Straitjacket smile revealing all my fears

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Summary

14) The Flood

Trapped inside an ocean of sorrow
That once upon a life I borrowed
Love set me free to find my shore
And though I begged you not to cost me
Somewhere in that pitch you lost me
(You lost me)
Now it's cost me even more
(Cost me more)
You've opened up my door

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15 Laughin' Myself Goodbye

Summary

Standin' on this bridge
Ya' know I've finally found my purpose in life
Reputation's blown to shit
Never could do a thing right
I seem to remember being happy
And now I find the whole thing's funny

Wouldn't you think I'm happy
Sitting on top of the world
These aren't tears
I'm only laughin' myself goodbye

All my broken memories
Look just like the water below
I can't turn my back on you
I've got nowhere else to go
I can't picture ever needing anything
I guess I got what I wanted

Wouldn't you think I'm happy
Sitting on top of the world
These aren't tears
I'm only laughin' myself goodbye
Wouldn't you swear I'm smiling
I can't get this grin off my face
Why are you crying
I'm just laughin' myself goodbye

I guess my dependency went overboard
Wherever it goes I'll follow

Wouldn't you think I'm happy
I'm sitting on top of the world
These aren't tears
I'm only laughin' myself goodbye
Wouldn't you swear I'm smiling
I can't get this grin off my face
Why are you crying
I'm just laughin' myself
Laughin' myself goodbye
Woh Woh oh oh
Laughin' myself
Laughin' myself goodbye
Huh